And now, to kick things off: Lyrics I've misheard

Midnight Star, Weird Al

What I heard: Tell me, tell me, tell me how to make my frostbite grow.

What it really is: Tell me, tell me, tell me how to make my bustline grow.

In a song lampooning tabloid weirdness, either line could fit. Making one's frostbite grow would definitely be the stranger of the two, and definitely shows my twisted way of thinking.